Yelly Mommy!

Quarantine Day @#$% Yep, that's where I'm at. I've thrown in the towel more times than I can count. Who could have ever predicted what a sh*@ show 2020 would be? Racial injustice FINALLY moving mainstream, radical change STARTING to take shape, protective facial masks becoming a political statement, and kids cooped up at home while their parents try to keep their jobs as the economy tanks around them.

I have tried to remain positive, but some days just aren't easy. Some days I need quiet. I need my kids to listen, to calm their bodies, to go to sleep. When the quarantine hit, we went on lockdown. The kids have been home from daycare since March 11th. No one has been in or out of our house. There has been no break, no escape, no help. Ok, so there have been a few breaks. I go to work four times a week. I work part-time so that amounts to 18 hours a week. The meme, "I wonder if Target misses me," is true. I have not been into a store since March 16th. That was the very last time. I face enough exposure at work, so my husband doesn't want me to risk it. Yep, amazon gifts and e-cards for Mother's Day and Father's Day. I draw the line at having my husband pick out such personal sentiments.

Weekly trips to the grocery store is when my husband gets his break. Occasionally he goes into the office. But work is not exactly a calming, relaxing place.

The rest of the time-- we are with our children. They are always around--even at night in our bed. They are loud and sticky and sassy. And I love them, but I need to get away. My patience is gone. My husband's patience is gone. The kids patience is gone.

Who else has very active kiddos? 🙋🏼‍♀️ My two boys wake up running and never stop.

During their time at home, they have been stuck inside, tv as their babysitter, while my husband works. They are too young to go outside and play alone. They need constant supervision. But, all this inside, screen time has taken it's toll.

The quarantine has been especially tough on my eldest. He is super hyper and social. He needs attention and people. But, we won't let him play with other kids. He only has his little brother. That only lasts so long before they are fighting and screaming and crying. It’s been a challenge to carve out time during the day to play and run around. On my days off, I try to get them to get outside and run around. I am limited on where I can take them and things we can do because coronavirus. Lately, he's been stealing my phone and recording videos to send to his friends inviting them to our house when the coronavirus is over.

It is adorable and I feel so bad because we aren't allowing play with others. I get FOMO when I see other families out and about, taking trips, swimming, etc. I just have to remind myself I am doing my part to stop the spread. I am doing my part to flatten the curve. I am doing my part to get my kids in school come the fall.

We are now in a rhythm that they wake up and immediately watch tv... and it is on all day. Not that they pay attention all day, but it is on. Screen time alters his behavior (and his refusal to take a nap). He lost his listening ears about two months ago. He talks back, argues, manipulates, and tries to bargain. He can't seem to sit still, even while watching shows he's requested. He has found that sitting with his legs over his head is his preferred method of comfort. He gets sent to his room more than once a day. Last week he figured out if he asked Alexa to call "mom" he'd get his grandma. So, now he chats with her when he is bad and tells her that he is bored. At the beginning of the quarantine, up until preschool graduation, I had lesson plans and activities. But getting him to participate became such a challenge it wasn't worth it anymore. It was one more fight. I can't image what distance learning would be like. But, more than likely, I will be finding out.

Boundaries and structure are lacking and we just don't know how to regain control. Do you remember the show Super Nanny? I wonder what she would say if she came to our house? I hate that I have turned in to a yellie mom. I hate that so much. I don't want to damage the relationship so young. I don't want this to be our life, but I don't know what else to do. My hope is that I am not alone and other parents are in the same struggle. I want my little boy back.

Next month, the kids will return to daycare. It wasn’t an easy choice, but a necessary one as my husband must return to the office. The hope is at daycare, they will get the much needed structure and social interaction they crave and hopefully fingers crossed they will get tired, so tired they go to bed on time and their dad and I will get a break.